T.U.L.I.P

Total Depravity

It has always been and will always be that each and every human being is, at heart, a spoiled brat.

Unconditional Election

People who grow up did nothing to earn it, so it’s nothing to be proud or ashamed of: it just sort of happens.

Limited Atonement

Some people never grow up.

Irresistible Grace

If you’re one of the poor bastards stuck with growing up, you’ll learn to like it.

Perseverance of the Saints

If you’re one of the poor bastards stuck with growing up, there’s nothing you can do to stop it.